Giving you a quick understanding of Pygmalion and 50 First Dates before getting into the topic.
If you are a management student, my management student, you may know the Pygmalion Story and its association with management, of course, when placement is not your only priority and you haven’t yet made a breakup with sleep.
So, the story goes like this in short:
Pygmalion: A Greek sculptor carves a beautiful ivory statue of a woman; he might be straight, I guess. The woman has a name, Galatea. So, a man and a beautiful woman, and magic happens. Pygmalion falls in love with Galatea. Love is not just a cup of vanilla tea you make in your kitchen, right?
Love sets high beliefs, Love demands, Love sets expectations. Love exhausts your resources, Love supports, Love seeks reciprocation, and Love finally wins.
Pygmalion is no exception; he sets very high expectations and develops a strong belief that this statue will become a woman one day, and he will marry her. So, he constantly communicates this belief to the statue; he exhausts his energy; he buys gifts for her; he prays to Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love; and he communicates his desire. Since this is a fairy tale and Greek myth, Aphrodite grants his wish, Galatea turns into a warm and beautiful woman, and they live happily ever after.
This myth has been used by management scholars to explain how leaders’ communication of high expectations will help followers develop a strong belief in their capabilities. This self-fulfilling prophecy has been found to increase performance and productivity at the workplace.
So, coming back to my life, I usually indulge in mail conversations with my students on certain academic topics; I call it Think-Bit. I post a social question or research evidence, and students reflect upon it. I initiated this just to be a little bit more introverted-friendly and make students understand that learning goes beyond classrooms. Unfortunately, due to other priorities, students were not able to find time to write back to me. Therefore, in my subsequent email, I requested that they shouldn’t convert me into a Pygmalion, believing and praying that they would reply because I am not a consistent person to indulge in prayers. Obviously, I received many responses, and one student, along with his response, asked me this. “Mam, why should you be worried if we are converting you into Pygmalion? Pygmalion got what he wanted, and he was ultimately happy.”
That’s when I decided to write this particular article about how the Pygmalion effect can be negative for both leaders and followers. I need to pull another reference here: 50 First Dates.
For those who haven’t watched this movie, here is the story in a nutshell: (But please do watch it, at least for Drew Barrymore, if not for egg-headed, adorable Adam Sandler).
Henry, a veterinarian, meets a charming art teacher, Lucy, in a cafe. He tries and somehow makes Lucy respond to his feelings, they connect over breakfast, and Lucy assures him that she will meet him the next day too.
The next day happens, and, surprise, Lucy doesn’t remember him. He figures out that a car accident has given her anterograde amnesia. She loses the memories of her everyday experiences once she falls asleep, and the next day, she will only wake up thinking it is Sunday, the day when she met with an accident. So, unfortunately, Henry has to make her fall in love with him on an everyday basis.
Now, coming back to the Pygmalion story and integrating 50 First Dates into it: Pygmalion was successful, happy, and proud because the stone was turned into a woman due to his gutsy belief and relentless efforts. It was an irreversible event, and therefore, he was able to replenish his exhausted resources. Now imagine this: What if Galatea turns into a stone every time she falls asleep, and the next day, he has to start the routine all over again? Pray, pray, and pray; buy gifts for the statue, and constantly communicate your beliefs to the statue.
In short, Pygmalion goes on 50 First Dates!
The agony will be intolerable because we cannot expect Henry’s consistent determination and Lucy’s hope in Pygmalion. The same applies to a leader and his follower.
Contrary to what the Pygmalion story teaches us, these relentless and constant high expectations from the leaders may exhaust the excessive personal resources of the employees. At the same time, when the followers coil back to an underperforming stone on a regular basis, leaders exhaust too much energy to bring them back to action.
So, before setting high expectations for your followers, ask yourself: Is this journey irreversible or will it lead you to 50 First Dates? If 50 First Dates is what you anticipate, is it worth it?
I believe Steve Jobs didn’t even want to do a second date, and that’s why he preferred only A players in his team.
I am right now listening to BTS and trying to do some research on them. I also received a rejection decision from a journal, so obviously I had some writing connecting BTS and Pygmalion.
Soul sounds like Seoul.
Seoul sounds like K-pop.
K-pop sounds like BTS.
BTS sounds like an addiction.
Addiction sounds like money.
Money sounds like my profession.
My profession sounds like venting.
Venting sounds like my soul.
My soul never sounds like Seoul.
And this is how the Pygmalion story sounds if you look at it with another lens.
Disclaimer: All Opinions on the post are personal.
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